If Only ....

In the same theme of an earlier post "Might as Well Dance" ... how many "IF Only" moments have you had? I COULD have written this ..." if only"

If Only

by Judith Viorst

If only shopping at Saks counted as exercise.
If only aggravation made me thin.
If only there was a pill I could take for grace under pressure
and upper-arm definition.
If only I lost as adorably as I win.

If only having insomnia gave me courage.
If only eating chocolate made me smart.
If only there was a cloth that washed off lipstick, mascara,
eyeliner, blush, and wrinkles.
If only my breasts and my waist were farther apart.

If only going to movies lowered cholesterol.
If only constipation made me rich.
If only there was a shot that would immunize me against
impatience and feeling guilty.
If only I laughed as easily as I bitch.

If only French fried potatoes helped me remember.
If only they sometimes also helped me forget.
If only one morning I'd leap out of bed feeling ready and willing
and eager to welcome old age.
But not yet. But not yet. But not quite yet.