Friday, May 8, 2009

Grandma saw a Chicken!!!

I believe it would be accurate to say that I have a short attention span. I’m not particularly proud of this flaw; I don’t think it has been a deterrent over the years, though … well, hopefully not too much! I get sleepy while driving if I’m using ‘cruise control’ and if I don’t have someone to talk to while I’m driving (we’re talking long trips here) you might as well hang it up; I slap myself, turn the air conditioner on high directed right at me ... it’s bad … very bad!!!! I cannot sit and watch a movie on the television without having at least a couple catalogs to scan at the same time. I start telling a story and lose my listener (or reader) as I wander off down another path or two … before I can get back to the original thought. (This one sends The Duck and Bz up the wall!!!)

I will start one project ... (just for grins … let’s say I’m emptying the dishwasher) let the madness begin: When I remove the coffee carafe from the dishwasher I decide to fill the coffee maker with water and set it up for our afternoon treat. When I’m getting the coffee from the cupboard, I notice that the trash container is almost over flowing … so I take the plastic bag out of the container, pull the red drawstrings on the bag and turn to take it out to the garage … it’s then that I notice there is only one or two more bags left in the box, so I put the bag down, go over to the counter and write ‘trash bags’ on my shopping list. While I’m at the counter, I realize that I haven’t taken my morning vitamins (the cabinet with the pills is right above the counter with the shopping list.) I pour my medications into my hand (this is often one of the only ways I know which day it is … it’s a week at a glance pill container) I open yet another cabinet to get a glass, and then head over to the refrigerator to get some ice cubes. I fill the glass with ice cubes, and sit the glass down so I can open the refrigerator to get some of my Sun Tea, but there isn’t really enough tea to take with the medication. I put the pills down on the center island, go to the sink, rinse out the tea jug, fill it with water, bring it back to the cabinet, go to the pantry, take the tea bags out of the boxes … put them in the water. I carry the jug out to the deck to sit on the railing in our beautiful Texas sun, it’s then that I notice the hummingbird feeders are empty as one unruly Rufus dive bombs me. I leave the tea jug on the railing, come back into the house to get the small step stool (in the pantry) to take back out to the deck to get the three feeders down. When bending over to pick up the stool, I again see the box of trash bags and remember to take one out … when straightening up, though, I spy the canister of sugar and knowing that I’ll need the sugar to make the hummingbird solution, I throw the bag on the trash container, take the sugar over to the sink and sit it down. I attempt to open the cabinet next to the dishwasher to get the 8-cup measuring glass, but have to close the dishwasher door first. I close the door, rise up and bump my head on the cabinet door that I have left open where I got my glass … the same glass that’s over on the counter with the melting ice cubes, next to the medications that I still have not taken and the tea bags that I haven’t put up. I stand there totally confused surveying the scene … pantry door left open, trash bag in middle of pantry floor, new trash bag hanging on edge of trash container. The sugar canister is on the other side of the kitchen next to the sink … the hummingbird feeders are still out hanging from the lattice covering on the deck, the stool is still in the pantry; the back door has been left open (I am now air-conditioning the deck it seems) so I head towards the back door, but turn when I remember that I still need the stool. I view this small detail of remembering the stool as a victory) I actually pick up the stool, scoot the trash bag out from the pantry with my foot; positioning it in front of the refrigerator … close the pantry door (forgetting to put the new plastic bag in the trash container) I take the stool outside, stretch to get the feeders down, using ‘the lazy man’s load’ (my mother’s saying) I clutch all three feeders to myself and take them back inside. I have managed to spill some of the sugary water on my shirt, but more importantly I’ve dripped a sticky path from the back door to the kitchen sink. Deciding that I have ‘nothing to lose now’ I make up the sugar solution in the 8-cup measuring glass and turn to the center island in the kitchen, open the end drawer and fetch the funnel. I pour almost as much of the liquid in the sink as I manage to get in the bottles. I carefully take each feeder back outside, one at a time, but still manage to spill some of the solution on the floor once again. I come back inside, my feet sticking to the floor, so I go to the utility room (down a hallway) to get the mop. It should be noted that (1) the stool is still outside, (2) the trash container does not have a trash bag in it, (3) I have not taken my pills and (4) the tea is now very strong!!!

I will stop at this point, I feel certain that you get the picture. I have a difficult time staying on focus! Oh, by the way … several hours later when the Duck asks if I’d start the coffeemaker, I have to go to the dishwasher to get the basket. (The clean dishes have not been put away yet.) He asks this of me while he takes the trash bag out to the garage, careful not to trip over the bucket and mop leaning up against the utility room door.

My family does not seem to appreciate one of my tee shirt, which reads, “They say I have A.D. D. but they don’t understand … Oh, look ... a Chicken


Bz said...

Incorrect on "My family does not seem to appreciate one of my tee shirts"- I, for one, FULLY appreciate it because it's absolutely true!

Tatersmama said...

LOL... I feel like I've got my ear to the keyhole here... listening in on a mother/daughter conversation!

I had to laugh at this, because it's "me" to a T! By the end of the day, I just can't understand where all this stuff (mop and bucket, egg beater, shampoo in the kitchen, innards from the coffee pot in the fridge) has come from and it's too overwhelming to deal with... so I just head back to the computer and ignore it all!

Fruitcake Sandy said...

You know we're all in the same boat ... we just have different oars ... but right now I've gotta find the boat!!