Saturday, October 30, 2010

Change ... the only constant

Confession: I DO NOT deal well with change ... big changes, little changes, general, run of the mill changes ... it's unsettling, it's scary at times, it's sad at times ... it's not a comic strip subject to me. I know all the platitudes ... like those that 'Grandpa Pickles' stated ... and more. I KNOW change is the only constant ... I know this intellectually ... my brain does work (most of the time!) ... it's my heart that is struggling with CHANGE.

The Duck and I have owned a log cabin in Colorado for over 20 years. We started 'vacationing' in parts of Colorado when our two children were quite small. I can still smell the catalytic heater (that didn't work because of the altitude) in a large, very cold, canvas tent ... and that was 35 years ago! We took this same tent on motorcycle enduros in the middle of the Piney Woods in Texas in August ... and that was great fun, too!

We graduated to a small motor home ... now that was FIRST CLASS ... although it guzzled gasoline faster than I can eat a Milky Way candy bar ... trust me, that's fast ... very fast!!! When that became so expensive for a young family, we got a 'slide-in' camper shell for the pickup truck. There are so many memories and most of them took place in Colorado. I 'found' my first diamond wedding ring in a Cracker Jacks box one summer. All this time we were forming wonderful friendships and making memories with a group of people who shared our love for Colorado and camping. We rode motorcycles, fished, had cookouts, rafting, touring ghost towns ... together as a family. I will never forget those times. I cherish those memories.

We rented log cabins over the years for the Christmas holidays ... stomping out into knee deep snow to find the perfect Christmas tree. Stringing popcorn and making paper garlands for the tree ... an aluminum foil handmade star on top ... being snowbound inside the Solar House due to a Christmas Eve blizzard ... good food, great friends, wonderful memories.

In 1989 we had a small log cabin built on an acre of land we had purchased a year or so earlier. We were our children's ages now when we built the cabin ... the Duck designed it ... we furnished it with love and memories. We envisioned our children and their children visiting us in that cabin ... making memories for them as well. We nurtured that vision ... but I have digressed long enough ... things CHANGED.

Our son was only able to come out to the cabin a couple of times ... it's a two day drive and when you have a job and other responsibilities to family, it just didn't happen very often. Our daughter and son-in-law spent part of their honeymoon with us at the cabin. While pregnant with their second child, our daughter and young family visited a year ago in September. It was such a special time for all of us.

We still had the friends from the campground over for meals and evenings of playing "31" during the summer months and visited with other couples who had built cabins on the same mesa. Over the years ... well, you guessed it ... things changed. While we had been able to go camping for 3-4 weeks at a time while we were working ... family commitments, health issues and busy schedules started limiting our time at the cabin. We discovered we dreaded the July 4th time out there ... you couldn't stir all the 'tourists' with a stick ... our sleepy little town was overrun with people. Of course, those hectic months of summer meant that most of the shops could make it through the long winter months.

Many of our camping 'family' members could no longer manage the motor homes or trailers due to age and some could no longer take the high altitudes ... changes. We lost several of those special people over the years and the same thing started happening to the other cabin owners ... changes. New folks bought some of the older cabins ... changes. People built huge cabins right up next to property lines ... changes. The neat 'old' shops in town closed or changed. It wasn't the same place to us any longer ... change. It had always been rather isolated, that had been a positive aspect for years, but that isolation grew ... change.

This past summer and especially in September we had both family and friends visiting ... it was absolutely wonderful. But the minute our 'company' left, the Duck and I were ready to go back home. Keeping up the maintenance on the cabin has become a 'chore' ... those logs need to be stained every 3-4 years to continue looking good. We have to 'winterize' the cabin when we leave each time, just in case we don't make it back out there. It's a 15 hour drive from our Texas door to the Colorado door ... we are older, we tire easily, we don't bounce back as quickly, we like our 'creature comforts' more these days. Things change.

Confession: Not all change is BAD ... but why then does it feel so bad at times??? We've had a wonderful time in Colorado and especially at our cabin. But things changed ... we've decided it's time to move on ... CHANGE.

The next chapter is starting ... we have a contract on a lovely townhouse in Branson West, Missouri. It's in a gated community, the wooded lot is maintained, golf & country club amenities, 2 lakes near by, within a days drive and a new airport close. It's closer to family, it has two large 'guest' bedrooms. It even has a Wal-Mart Super Center in town!

Life is constant change ... Change is the only constant. CHANGE ....


Tatersmama said...

I hear ya, girl! Life goes on and things change, but I guess it's a necessary evil...

I don't deal well with changes either, but I have to admit that I'm so looking forward to the move back home to California next year! It's the cleaning and repairing and selling up part that doesn't hold much attraction.

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place. ~Washington Irving"

Bz said...

i liked laying on your lap.